A Christmas Carol
by starry-nights88
Summary: Edward thought he had everything he wanted, but when he loses it all and gains an unexpected visitor, he realizes that there's one more thing to make his life complete.


When you love someone…you want to spend your life with them. When you spend your life with someone…you want to share that life with them. His request was simple. His desire was known. He had already asked, and was already shot down. Several times. They had been together for five years. Five wonderful years. He was looking forward to five more, but he wanted to share those years with a child.

"Edward…" Jacob murmured late one night, curling against his lover's side, sighing contently as Edward's fingers carded through his hair. The sheet was draped over their waists, the cool night air raising gooseflesh on the younger's torso, but he made no move to pull the sheet over himself and break the spell of the afterglow of their lovemaking.

Edward hummed softly to let Jacob know he had his attention as he continued his motions, holding the man closer to him as a shiver passed through his body. "I've been thinking…" Those words made him stiffen, they made his defenses kick start, and they made his hackles rise. Arguments, he'd begun to realize, always started out this way.

"…about us adopting a baby, or not even a baby…" Jacob continued, pushing himself up to look down at his elder lover, his palm cupping his chin and with his elbow propped against the bed. "I saw this commercial the other night, and we don't have to-"

But he was interrupted as Edward shifted, their connection broken, before he sat up. He pushed a hand through his hair and turned to his frowning boyfriend. "Jake…Jacob, baby, we've been together for five years…five wonderful years, why would you want to mess that up by bringing a kid into it?"

It was that one simple sentence-that one poorly thought out, simple sentence that started this whole thing. It was that hurtful sentence he said to the one he loved that made him realize just how much Jacob meant to him and how much he needed the man in his life.

That was the night Jacob left. That was also the night, the first and _only_ night, that Edward didn't go after him. He couldn't imagine how much that one small decision would change his life. He couldn't begin to fathom how one big one could derail it completely.

Edward wasn't much of a drinker, but whiskey had become his best friend since Jacob left. It was his only comfort, his only escape, though it was only a temporary fix. He got home from work and force of habit had him nearly calling out for his lover, letting him know that he was home, but he always stopped himself with the harsh reminder that there was nothing but silent, smiling pictures of Jacob to answer him.

That reminder led him to his liquor cabinet, the stocked cabinet he had only gotten because Jacob liked a good, stout drink after a hard day at the garage. That's what led him to open the door and pull out the closest bottle. The closest bottle was Jacob's favorite and that memory led Edward to drink it down only to have it replaced the next day.

Tonight he drank deeply. Tonight he only stopped when a sweet blackness enveloped his vision. Tonight was different. It was the night that'd change everything. He just didn't know it yet.

* * *

"…Edward…"

The voice was sweet as it beckoned him softly. It was familiar, almost painfully so, but he couldn't place it. Though he struggled to do so. He should know it. He should know who called him so sweetly.

"Edward, my dear boy…open your eyes…"

He struggled to open his eyes like the voice beckoned him to him. He tried so hard, but he couldn't manage. The darkness was just too sweet, too comforting. He wanted to sink himself in it. He wanted to lose himself in it.

"Let me see your beautiful eyes, my sweet boy."

_Mom…_? Finally the voice aligned with a face, the face of the woman he called mother lit up his darkness and his eyes fluttered open. The man groaned, pushing himself up off of the floor before he looked up at the woman. "Mom?"

The woman smiled, her face still as sweet as he remembered it, down at him. "My sweet boy, my foolish son…" she murmured, shaking her head slowly. "What a mess you've made."

"Mess…?" Edward replied, confused as he continued staring at his mother, unable to get enough of her appearance. She had been dead for…for years. Since he was a boy. "I don't understand, Mom, you're…you're dead."

Elizabeth Masen chuckled softly, a hint of sadness behind the sound. "And I still am. I'm only here to guide you, to show you what's going to happen since you didn't go after him…what could've been yours if you had only thought beyond your own selfish desires…"

His breath quickened, his heart ached. He didn't need to ask who she meant. He knew. And his face brought tears to his eyes. "Mom…I don't want to see, I can't…"

She shook his head slowly, holding out her hand. "But you must. You must see the error in your way before you can fix your path. Only then can things be right."

But things would never be right again. He had tried to call Jacob. He had tried to see him. Jacob wanted nothing to do with him. Jacob was _finished_. Jacob…didn't want him anymore. The best thing in his life was lost to him. There was no way to get it back.

"Take my hand, son, and trust my words," she murmured gently, Edward finally reaching for her hand and as his fingers brushed against hers, he was blinded by a white light.

* * *

When the white light faded, Edward wasn't sure where his mother had brought him. He glanced around the room and realized it was a living room decorated for Christmas. He was confused as he turned to his mother, poised to question their whereabouts, but before he could speak two children tore _through_ him and skidded to a stop in front of the brightly lit Christmas tree.

"Dad!"

"Daddy!"

The children cried and screamed excitedly (Edward realizing that one was a little boy and the other a little girl) as they picked up random wrapped gifts; shaking the boxes and checking the gift tags, snatching boxes back and forth between each other.

"They can't see you, Edward." His mother's voice tore his attention away from the bickering pair of siblings who were still hollering for their father, waiting impatiently to break into Santa's bounty. "And they can't hear you."

"But, why…?" Edward questioned, but was never answered because at that moment a robed man entered the room, chuckling at the children as they squealed "Daddy!" and immediately scrambled to his front to receive the steaming mugs of hot coco he held for them.

"Can we open presents?" The little boy asked, looking up at the tanned man with wide, green eyes. His lower lip was jutted out in a pout, his sister copying the look exactly making Edward realize that they were twins.

The man gave his children a stern look, though Edward could plainly see he was struggling not to laugh. "Now, we ought to wait for Dad, shouldn't we? He'll be down in a moment and-"

"He's already here!"

The room seemed to fade away and everything narrowed down to that one startlingly familiar voice, Edward's world just stopped. Everything istopped/i. He could only manage one shocked statement as a second man stepping into the room, holding a camera and a plate of danishes. "J-jacob…"

He voice was unheard. His presence unknown. And his breaking heart was silent to everyone but him. But his mother's voice was strong in his ear. Her voice was soft, sad, and sounded just as heartbroken as he felt at that moment. "When he left and you didn't go after him, he let you go. He moved on. He found a man that wanted him and shared his desire for children. He found a man that'd love him and their children. He's happy. You would've been too if you hadn't let him leave. You could've had this if you had been willing to listen to him."

His mother's words rang in his ears as he watched the heart wrenching scene before him, watching his lover-_his_ Jacob lean over and kiss that man after his children had taken a danish from the plate he held, splitting it in between them before they sat at the coffee table with their hot coco and breakfast.

This could've been his. Every bit of it. This could've been his life, his family, his children, and…his lover. _His_ Jacob.

"Edward?"

His mother's voice was sweet and caring, but he didn't answer as the family's laughter filled the room and tears burned his eyes. "_Edward_?" He didn't answer as he watched what should've been his play out before his very eyes.

His heart ached as the tears rolled down his cheeks and he felt the gentle pressure of his mother's hand on his shoulder and her soft voice whispering his name in his ear.

* * *

"Edward?"

His eyes fluttered open at the gently beckoning and he suppressed a wide yawn as someone chuckled softly, fondly in his ear. That same someone snuggling closer to his body as he turned to see who was sharing his bed. "Jacob?" The name fell from his lips with such surprise, but didn't Jacob leave him?

The younger man blinked and looked confused. "Wow! You must really be out of it," Jacob replied, whistling lowly. "Of course it's me, who'd you think it would be?" The man asked, a teasing tone to his voice as he gave the elder a smile.

Edward pushed himself up, a frown on his face as he pushed a hand through his hair, Jacob shifting to accommodate him sitting up. "But…you left, I saw it…we argued and you left," Edward insisted, looking over at the other man as he sat up as well.

Jacob shook his head slowly. "I didn't go anywhere and we certainly didn't argue," he replied, starting to look confused as well. "We came home from Bella's Christmas party, remember? Her son got sick, threw up all over you…?"

The elder man's eyes widened in realization. What he remembered, what he thought he knew, what he thought he had suffered through…hadn't happened. It was…a dream? "But…I saw you…with another man and with kids…" Edward's voice trembled and his body shook. Jacob scooted closer and he felt the comforting weight of the man press against him as his strong arms wrap around him.

"Babe…I think you were dreaming," Jacob murmured softly, as he pressed Edward's head to his chest, brushing his hand through his hair. "Because the only man I want to have children with is you. You know that. We've talked about it before."

Edward pushed himself out of Jacob's arms. "That's what we argued about…you wanted kids, but I didn't…"

The younger's face fell slightly. "I…I know that, Edward. That's what you always say when I bring it up," he replied softly, his voice laced with a tinge of hurt. Hurt that made Edward's stomach twist and curl as he realized that while what happened was only a dream, it was still a very possible reality for him.

"May-maybe having children wouldn't be so bad…" Edward said after a moment, watching as Jacob's eyes flickered to his, his face illuminated by the dancing light of the television.

Jacob heaved a deep, heavy sigh and shook his head slowly. "You're just saying that to make me happy, Edward. We talked about this earlier! _At_ Bella's party even! You didn't want kids then, what's so different now?"

The hurt in his lover's voice was obvious now and it made Edward sick, but then he remembered something. Something real. Something that had happened that very night. He had tucked it away and had forgotten about it after becoming a make-shift toilet for Bella's youngest child.

"You were playing with her kids…you didn't think I was watching. I know you didn't think I was there. But I was, I was in the doorway while you were in their nursery. And, Jacob…it looked so right. I had walked in there to tell you, but that was when Aden threw up on me."

Jacob's eyes widened and there was the smallest, barest glimmer of hope in his eyes. "Edward…" he said softly, seriously, his voice shaking with his hope and fear. "Are you serious?"

It took a moment for Edward to answer. It took a moment for him to remember that heartwarming scene of his lover playing with their best friend's children and the heart wrenching scene of his lover being happy with another man and their own children. After he thought about those two instances, one real and one not, he knew his answer.

"Yes. I am."

* * *

"Oh, Edward! I'm so nervous!" Jacob whispered softly as he pressed himself to his lover's side, his hand shaking as it gripped Edward's.

The man smiled, squeezing his lover's hand in a reassuring fashion as he pressed a kiss to the younger's cheek. "Why?" Edward asked softly. "This is what we've been waiting for. We're finally meeting them. We're finally able to take them home!"

Jacob groaned before he turned and threw his arms around Edward's neck, burying his face in his shoulder. "What if they don't like us?" He asked, though his voice was muffled.

Edward chuckled softly, turning to wrap his other arm around his lover, holding him close to his chest. "They will, you'll see. They will like us and even grow to love us," he murmured gently against the younger's hair.

"Promise?" Jacob asked softly, looking at his lover, his eyes watery and his lips quivering.

A slow, easy smile appeared on his face as he cupped Jacob's cheek, his thumb caressing the tan cheek. "Who couldn't love you?" Edward replied softly, leaning forward to chastely press a reassuring kiss to his lover's lips.

"Mr. Cullen? Mr. Black?"

The couple parted and turned their attention to a young woman that held the hands of two children. A boy and a girl. "This is Caleb and Caleigh. And they're ready to go home."

For a moment no one said anything and then bravely, the little girl stepped forward. Her hands clasped in front of her nervously as she stopped just a few feet from Jacob. She looked up at him with wide, blue eyes. "Are you…" she started in a small voice. "Are you our daddy?"

Jacob burst out into laughter and tears as he knelt down, nodding because he couldn't speak through his crying as he held out his arms. The girl smiled broadly, beautifully, before she threw herself into his embrace, burying her face in his chest as his arms wrapped around her.

And, with that, the spell was broken. Mere moments later Edward found himself with a little boy attached to his legs, smiling up at him with an adoring grin. He reached down and lifted him into his arms and in that moment he knew he made the right decision. He had his family. He had his children. He had _his_ Jacob. And…he had his happily ever after.


End file.
